I Have Seen
Before I go to sleep once more in the dark and solemn sands, I have to spread my fingers once more, show you what I hold in my hands.
I’ve had to take some time to rest. Last year was a wonderful re emergence full of creative abundance, however, I have needed to take a break and recuperate and meditate on the present.
My work is inspired by my investigations into the buddhadhamma (teaching of the Buddha). I undertook this journey as a result of the conditions of my birth.
I decided the only possible way to know what anything is, is to find out for myself, not to take anyone’s word for it, including the Buddha. Funny thing is, that is literally the buddhadhamma. I am sure my godmother appreciates the irony.
I am named for a book composed by Buddhaghosa in the Theravada Abhidhamma tradition. The title has been translated as "Providing the Meaning". In the Atthasālinī, Buddhaghosa explains the meaning of terms that occur in the Dhammasangani which is part of the Abhidhamma Pitaka. The Abhidhamma Piṭaka is a detailed scholastic analysis and summary of the Buddha's teachings in the Suttas.
In popular western culture, it seems little known how scholastic and detailed the buddhadhamma is. I have never been comfortable sharing my background due to the prevalence of cult mentality and misrepresentation of the practice. People in American culture seem to want to either put you on a pedestal or disqualify you in some way.
I have no interest in either. I am simply interested in an accurate view of reality and myself. My work deals with my investigation into myself and reality, it documents the lifelong journey I have undertaken to see things as they are and I have seen many things.
"The Tathagata says that the only way to achieve Self-realization is to study oneself. To know oneself thoroughly. And then to forget this 'self'. Attentively. Alertly. Mindfully. Established in mindfulness. Satipatthana. To awaken through this direct technique of naked, personal experience. To become awake." ~ Yatha-bhuta
Thank you for stepping into your uncomfortableness to share your explorations. As someone who has learned a great deal from you, including the need to explore it all myself, I can't imagine a better introduction.
Writing as Self Discovery is a journey well taken down paths around corners we seldom foresee. Being honest with ourselves, brave enough in asking the questions without knowing the answers goes from being a big thing to becoming a small thing… until it’s barely a hummmm in the background of just Being.
🫶🏻